…Well that sounds more ominous than I meant.
It’s been a blast doing these projects the past two years. I have learned so much about both myself and the topics at hand. In learning more about myself I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to change things up a bit. I am so happy I’ve done all these projects, but I having trouble fitting all these new habits and ideas into my daily life. Daily life, habitual action is how things really change long term. My projects have been fun one or two month mini obsessions, which more often than not fall to the wayside as I start a new project. Which in itself is fine, not all my projects were meant to impart lasting change on me. Recently though I’ve been using the projects as more of a procrastination tool, choosing the project or other really short term goals over the long term habitual work I need to be doing. I’ve always loved a good marathon project. The kind you lock yourself up in a room with for the whole weekend and only emerge when it’s complete. Funny thing those marathon projects though, that’s not helpful for everything. Shorter chunks of habitual work, daily will make a larger impact. I know this, I believe this, and it’s time to focus on these ongoing, daily habits.
The last two years of projects have really helped my understand some of my personality quirks… aka flaws.
“you can do anything, but not everything”
I don’t know why I have such a desire to do everything, and everything all at once, but it doesn’t seem to be going away. Maybe it never will disappear on it’s own, but I have begun to see it in it’s true light: it’s a vice, it’s looking for an easy fix and it’s not helping me.
“perfect is the enemy of good”
I’ve always been a perfectionist, but I used to feel almost proud about it. It means I’m a hard worker who strives for the best, what’s wring with that right? It also means I never feel like anything is good enough and I stop things before I finish rather than doing them poorly.
“stop researching, start doing”
I can plan things forever. Always reading another article, researching another method, or watching another training video. Research is my go-to form of procrastination. It makes simple tasks take forever and it fills my brain with unnecessary obsessive thinking, so I’m less free to be creative. I do make excellent lists though.
I used to hide from my bad habits and I never would have wanted to share them with the world, I mean I want to be perfect. p.s. I definitely have more than three. But now I realize it’s much more powerful to know your faults, your tells, your coping mechanisms. That way I can recognize them when they are happening and steer myself back on course. They are part of my character and I don’t think I can rid myself of everything negative or counter productive, but I can recognize them, catch myself and then get on to the work that needs to be done.
So starting in December I am going to change it up a bit. I’m going to focus on getting more consistent with my daily habits (a routine!) while working on smaller projects centered around themes that will help make my daily life more productive and happy (hopefully!).
Here’s to a happy December!!